Tolerance vs. Acceptance

I hate hearing people say thinks like "Tolerance of LGBT rights is important," or something along those lines. At about 1:52 in the Global interview (video is below), School District No. 27 superintendent Diane Wright says that "the true intent" was "tolerance for all people". Ah man, that set me right off as soon as I heard her say that. No, our true intent was NOT "tolerance for all people", it was ACCEPTANCE for all people.



There is a fine line between the two. YouthNoise.com explains it very well:

Tolerance is to put up with something with protest, and acceptance is to put up with something without protest.

Yes, there is a huge difference. A person who tolerates you is sort of like that friend that two-times you: in your face, they are really friendly, but you always know that they are saying something about you when you are not there.

An acceptor may not want that lifestyle or thing for you, but approves every move that you make...

That's how it is. Tolerance may temporary and can be revoked at any time. People who tolerate do not accept you as you are but feel that blatantly rejecting you would be rude and unproductive. You know how every class has that one really annoying kid that everybody wishes would just shut up, but nobody says anything? Everybody just tolerates them. It doesn't mean they necessarily accept them for being so annoying, but nobody wants to be mean. Then eventually towards the end of the semester, somebody snaps and goes off on the annoying kid. It was just a matter of time.

People who are tolerant of LGBT people don't agree with what they consider a "lifestyle choice", but they don't want to be mean. They are uncomfortable around said people and maybe even are hiding hateful thoughts and feelings, but they don't think it would be appropriate to do or say anything about it. But, everybody has a breaking point, and maybe some day they will snap and do or say something negative or hurtful to said LGBT person. These are the same people who say things like "I don't mind gay people as long as they act straight in public."

In our community, in most of Canada, we already have tolerance. I feel like my sexuality is tolerated here in town, but that doesn't mean everybody accepts it. Canadians are notoriously polite - yes, this is a stereotype, but it still rings true in a lot of cases - and a lot of people hide their true feelings about LGBT people depending on what company they keep. Maybe they will be neutral towards LGBT rights-related discussions in public or around certain friends, but will say otherwise around other friends or at a church meeting. People who tolerate can be viciously two-faced. Tara told me a story about a girl she knows saying that gay people are demonic - but this same girl is civil to me in public and even attended Get Loud, being fully aware I'm a "practicing lesbian". She is tolerant but by no means accepting.

Acceptance is being okay with who people are and the things they may do. Acceptance is like, "Hey man, I know you're gay and I love you for it." Acceptance is not thinking twice about whether or not a person is gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, male, female, both, otherwise; it doesn't matter, because people are people no matter what. I came across this blog entry, and it describes the idea better than I can;

Acceptance is something we accept as part of life, part of society, part of people. It’s there and we don’t have a problem with it, we’re happy to share our space with it, happy to share our lives, our world with it. Tolerance is something we endure. Tolerance is the trial, the chore, the annoyance. It’s something we wish would go away, something we avoid exposure to as much as possible. Something we deal with only as little as we can.

Usually when people talk about wanting "tolerance" I feel a twinge of annoyance and maybe rage depending on the context, but I don't say anything. I'm going to start saying something because I am so sick of people not knowing the difference. I don't want mine or anybody else's sexuality to be tolerated, I want it to be accepted.