Love Is Going To Save Us

I wanted to reminisce in Get Loud!. And talk about what my English class thinks about all of this cafuffle with the past week.

Get Loud...I remember being nervous. I don't do public speaking, I really don't. I get nervous, and scared, but the group told me I was voluntold to do it, so I had no choice. I did it. And I guess I did it well. I remember stepping up on that stage to do introductions, the very first person to speak into that microphone because I was EmCee. I had to introduce myself and say who I was and what Get Loud! was about. And I did. I was scared. I was shaking, but I wasn't terrified. I wasn't quivering like I am known to do when giving speeches. After a point, somewhere in my beginning speech (I think around 'let me put emphasis on straight'), I got more relaxed and controlled.

I think I became a natural at it. It was easy, again, after a point. I remember rushing around back stage at some points, because I couldn't find the list for the thank yous. I remember Jeremiah coming and asking what I was looking for, and just his presence kind of calmed me down, like I wasn't about to do it alone.

I remember, out of the whole night, three of the performers the best. Of course, I remember the whole night like it was yesterday, but three stood out to me.

Nathan friggin' Mortimer. He was one of my favorite acts, and I remember stepping out onto that stage and introducing him and taking the mic from him and thanking him and getting hugs from him, and how nice his presence was that whole night. How calming it was, really. Like his whole energy told me it would be okay. I know I seemed pretty calm and collected, but on the inside I wasn't. I was just as nervous as any of the GSA, I think. But Nathan helped that. Especially when he played.

I remember Lexi's speech, sitting there and then seeing tears, and how I knew I had to get up and go to her and help her because she was crying. And I couldn't let her cry in front of 200 strangers, all alone. I myself knew how horrible it would be to be in her spot, so I went up there and I waved Megan and Tara out and we stood there, supporting. And calming down the crowd, after the applause. It was beautiful. Really.

And then Katrina's song. Oh my gosh. I have never ever heard a rendition of Hallelujah that I had loved so much. I remember standing back stage gasping because her voice was so beautiful.

Now the week. This Anti-Homophobia week drama that has been going on. I can't believe how far we've gone, I can't. I've noticed such a difference in the school atmosphere now. So many people are a lot more supportive, vocally and just with smiles and 'you did well'. It's nice, knowing that we have a lot more people behind us, and parents, and people all over the country standing behind us covering our backs.

Of course, there had to be a stop put to the media. Even if part of me didn't want too because it was nice, at the same time, I knew it had to end. I did just as much as students, staff, parents and our group. Even if my fight with Lexi wasn't the greatest, I think it was worth it. Someone had to say something, and I knew it should be me. I had contacted Global and CBC(not expecting BOTH to follow up, of course).

So now, here we are. The night before Gender Bender Day(I love that poster so much). And we're ready to see what happens tomorrow.

Through the week, I've been ranting to Mrs. Force about the school board and our administration. Rick has tried to calm me when I go on a tangent, and slowly, I calm down right before I get to the peak of my frustration. The more I talk about it, the angrier I get all over again. I still can't believe that our admin said 'yeah, you can be late for class, you're supporting students'. even though there was 20 minutes left of that game. I think that is unfair. Cold. Horrible. I could continue on, but I'm getting angry again.

Now I'm getting sick. I'm prepared to fight the little virus in my body just as I was to fight the school board and admin. I think I should take up bare knuckle boxing, or getting a punching bag. The guys in my English class, as the GSA, think I need a punching bag. I'm so angry. But I can be so calm and collected all at the same time. Oh well.